Tell me a story

What makes a good story?

Sitting down, slowly sipping my hot chocolate and enjoying everyone else's storytelling of personal anecdotes was quite enough to keep me happy. It wasn't until the break that I started racking my brains for something I could say. But all I kept coming up with was a feeling that nothing exciting had ever happened in my life.

Okay, so I'd never been to a mime school in Paris, or lost my shoes on a small Pacific island, or taken a 300 mile biking trip. But that's not what makes the story. These guys were so damn good not because of what happened to them, but because of what they brought to the events and how they interpreted them.

First of all, no modesty is necessary. You have to be comfortable with yourself and feel that what you're saying is a valuable contribution. I don't know but it seems to me that Americans get a lot of training in that from an early age. The extroverted and "democratic" culture gives them a big headstart. Then of course there's tone of voice, modulation, voice projection, eye contact, expressive body language - all part of the package of being comfortable with yourself really. There's a way of delivering your lines that is common to comedy routines most of us have grown up with, and so because we know what to expect, we are all attuned to this particular way of communicating, it works. You have to be pretty focused and good at taking space, fast thinking and quick talking. You need a way to fill gaps with taking tiny details of what happened and elaborating them so that they seem interesting and lend the story some credibility.

What's most fascinating though is that all stories revolve around some trouble or adverse situation or embarrassment. Who was it that said "egos relate through pain"? "Everything went perfectly lovely" just doesn't make drama. But at the same time, to make it into a good story, you have to stay positive about yourself as the speaker, look on it with detachment and humor, so your audience will be able to follow suit. We will feel bad for the poor guy in the story, but not for you the speaker. You let us into his world for a while, let us see what he is thinking and feeling, expose him a bit and allow us to empathize when we realize that we are equally human. Then bring us back and reassure us that it all worked out in the end. We are satisfied and pleased with you.

I'm weird. I want to analyze why I was having so much fun - but I still can't tell a good story the way it comes naturally to some people. I wish I could find as much excitement about the events of my life as they do.