Shadowboxing

I'm shadowboxing. It's a total setup. I wake up in the morning and immediately grab my favorite relationship imaginations. Some people run for their coffee, I don't even have to get out of bed. My dreams of relations that attract and affirm me, and those that oppose me, are already warm and available. It's completely addictive, and some part has a distaste for it, and another part really believes that it's necessary. That to be in the world is to throw all that energy out, reassemble myself on reboot. I see the point where I pick it up. Where there's nothing happening, and then there's this immense pressure to fill the space with someone.